How Therapy Can Help You Have A Better Marriage If Your Husband Is Harsh And Insensitive

When you got married, you probably never dreamed that your husband would be mean and harsh with you. You probably never thought he would neglect your deepest needs and that he would ignore your requests for intimacy, conversation, and closeness. Unfortunately, though, these are things that happen in marriages all the time, and it can be hard for a woman to know how to handle these things. If you are in a marriage like this, you might want to seek help from a therapist. The therapist might help you work through the following three steps to help you deal with this and achieve a better marriage.

Step 1: Seek responsibility for your part

A great first step your therapist might suggest is seeking responsibility for your part in the marriage problems. Each partner in the marriage holds some responsibility for wrong doing; and even if you are not doing as much wrong as your husband, there still might be some positive changes you could make yourself.

This may include learning to be more self-sufficient, or it could be learning how to respond more gently or wiser to him when he is acting up to you. In many cases, small changes like this from a wife can be encouraging for a husband to change too.

Step 2: Learn how to confront him about the problem

A second step the therapist might suggest to you is learning how to confront your husband with your feelings that relate to how he treats you. Depending on the situation, the therapist might recommend sitting down and talking to him, or he or she might suggest writing a letter to your husband. In either case, it's important to be loving yet firm when you explain how you feel. It's also important to ask for changes or to ask for him to seek counseling services.

Step 3: Determine what to do based on his response

After you fully explain your feelings to your husband, it will be up to him what happens next. He may take what you say seriously and do something about it, and this would be a great result. Counseling is a great way to save a marriage that is in trouble.

There is also a chance your husband might not be willing to make any changes. If this is the case, your therapist might recommend asking him for a separation.

Counseling for marital issues is something you can do on your own; however, you may also want to seek couple's counseling if your husband will agree to it. To learn more, contact a counseling center in your area. It might be helpful to first contact a place that specifically offers therapy for women, as they might have unique insights for you. 

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